Bakwaas Snippets :D


a public matter of personal concern

@kisi-ne-banaya: maine weekend pe non veg cook kiya

@kisi-ne-pakaya: non-veg banana kya itna exciting hota hai?

@kisi-ne-banaya: non veg banana kya hota hai?? :-O...mujhe to ek hi banana pata hai ...wo fruit hota hai...

@kisi-ne-pakaya:uffo, agar ba aur nana non-veg hongey toh banana non-veg hi hua na :| infact agar ba aur nana main se koi ek bhi non-veg hua toh bhi banana non-veg hi hoga :P and by all means, nana patekar to mujhey non-veg hi lagta hai, aur kuch khaye na khaye, sabka dimaag to khaata hi hai :D :P

@kisi-ne-banaya: ba aur nana mein "AND" hai kya?? ;P

@kisi-ne-pakaya: arrey, ab ba aur nana mein kya hai kya nahin ye humey kaise pata, ye unka personal matter hai, aur doosro ke personal matters main dakhal andaazi, ye acchi baat nahin hai :P

@kisi-ne-banaya: mai to bas ye soch rahi thi ke agar in dono mei se koi ek bhi non veg hai to banana non veg hai...aisa kyun?? :-O aur ab "matter" bhi personal hone lag jayenge to "aloo matter" kaise banenge...??? :-O

@kisi-ne-pakaya: hmmm, its a matter of concern!! infact, its a public matter of personal concern :|



More....

Sunday, July 13, 2008

mere yaar ki filhaal engagement

toh khabar yeh hai, ki hum mein se ek janaab ko shaadi karne ka bhoot sawaar ho gaya hai
toh hua yun ki kuch din pehle unhone hum sabko apni shaadi ki teesri kadi (pehli 2 zaraa private thi ;) )
yaani ki shaadi ke doosre adhyay yaani ki engagement mein shaamil hone ka nyota bheja
toh achaanak hamari is sanghathan ke lambi neend mein soye saathi jaag gaye aur shuru hua ek aur bakwaas session
yeh hai uske kuch khaas & not-so-khaas lamhe ;)

dulhe-mian:

Hello ppls, kaise ho sab log?
So the news is, ki meri barbaadi... ooops!! shaadi ho rahi hai, vidhi se ;P
jaldi hi, most probably in december :) but as a precursor to the biig event,
23rdJuly ko engagement hai, and goes without saying, aap sabko aana hai :)
and it is well in advance, to tickets wagarah book kara lo abhi se ;P

wish and hope to c u all :)
Vidhi & dulhe-mian :)

ab hamare baraatiyon ke sardaar hain aajkal hain zaraa hain bimaari ka shikaar
bedrest pe hain aur roz milte hain unse bahut saare rishtedaar

baraati1:

Dear Mr. Dulhe Mian,
I am really happy to read about this. I, on behalf of my family and everybody marked on this email,
take this opportunity to congratulate you and Mrs. Dulhe Mian and wish you a happy married life.
Considering the fact that the only thing I can do these days is stare at my laptop screen,
I would like to request you to broadcast/podcast/live-stream the ceremony function.
This kind of an innovative setup will be the first of its kind. With this,
the ceremony will not only make its place in the history books/reddit/digg/slashdot/(epic?),
it'll also enable people (including me) to virtually attend the function.
Looking forward to virtually attend the engagement ceremony with my complete family.

Best Regards,
Baraati No. 1

aur is ek idea ke saath hi shuru hui baaki bakwaasiyon...err baraatiyon ke idea ki bahaar

baraati2:
yeah idea to sahi hai.
Live telecast of your engagement ceremony would be written with golden letters in the pages of history.
2008 - Dulhe Mian broadcasted his engagement ceremony live.
Phir school mein padhaya jaiga - first live telecast of engagement ceremony - by Dulhe Mian in 2008
;-)

chaliyein, mehmaanon ko bulaane aure khaana khilaane ka kharcha khatam!

baraati3: Wah ... poori movie hi bana daali...lagey raho... !!
btw dulhe, ... u can add a link where in shagan can be transferred online ;-) ....


yeh janaab toh kuch zyaada hi aage pahunch gaye

baraati4: I think you should get married on secondlife :D... fir in costly broadcast ki zaroorat bhi nahin padegi!

bechaare hamaare dulhe mian kab tak apni shaadi ki yunh khilli udte dekhte rehte..

dulhe mian:
aap logo ke in uch-vicharon ko sunko bahut accha sa laga, aur bahut prerna mil rahi hai,
but (un)fortunately, prerna milne mein thodi late ho gayi
aur ab toh mera vivah vidhi se hi hoga :P
to saarey vidhaano ko manna meri majboori hai;P
aur somehow, main issi janam main vivah karna chahunga, doosra janam(second life) ho na ho :P

waise, frankly, mujhko ye webcasting ka idea accha sa lag raha hai ;)
explore karta hoon, kuch possible hua to :)
nahin to, we do have a website, thoda sa delayed report pakka dunga ;)

btw, koi interested hai, live blogging main?? ;P

lijiye hamaare baraatiyon ko ek aur prerna mil gayi ;)

baraati4: but vidhi ke kitne bhaiyon ka naam vidhaan hai ki tune pluralistic way mein bola??

baraati3: Vidhaan ko vidhi ka bhai bana daala dhakkan!!!! :P
ab tera kya hoga re dulhe raja?!! :P

baraati1: Hmmmm. Now this is getting more and more interesting.

Fact 1: Vidhaan is Vidhi's brother.
Fact 2: Vidhaan's surname is Sabha (remember Vidhan Sabha and in Bangalore Vidhaan Souda)
So we can safely conclude that our very own dulhe raja is getting married to Vidhi Sabha :)

dulhe raja: achcha mere priya baraatiyon
sab kuch kaun nahi hota, kuch cheezein kya bhi hoti hain ;P aur humaarey yahan ki vidha yehi hai,
ki har cheez vidhivat tareeke se, vidhaan se hoti hai ;P
mera chhoddo, vidhaan ka kya hoga? :O
vidhi bangalore main rahi thi, to souda bhi ho sakti thi :O
and dont u worry, kuch to manage karenge hi ;)

toh ab hum sab alag alag shehron se apne dulh raja ki barbaadi ki teesri kadi ke doosre adhyay
ka seedha prasaaran dekhne ka, aur online shagan transfer karne ka besabri se intezaar kar rahe hain.. aur aap ?? :)

yeh thi kahaani ab tak.
intezaar kijiye shaadi tak! :)

Congrats Tutu and Vidhi!!!
Here's wishing the both of all the happiness in life, :)
TPB Group! :)

kahaani izzat ki

parminder1 : aur parminder3 kal party kaisi rahi??? parminder5 meri taraf se parminder3 ko puchi de diyo
aur parminder4 meri taraf se parminder6 ko laatein

parminder2: mujhe kuch samajh mien nahi aa raha hai...parminder3 aapka
bday to kal hai abhi..kal party thi..kaise ho
gayi..meri miss ho gayi :((

aur bhi kya ho raha hai yeh..
parminder1 ek sawal hai parminder5 parminder3 ko puchis de de aur parminder4
parminder6 ko latte kyun..parminder5 parminder6 ko bhi puchi kyun
nahi de sakti aakhir uska bday hai....uska bhi haq
banta hai..yeh gender discrimination kyun..main PIL
file karoonga is baat pe..


jai hind..

parminder3: arey parminder2 koi baat nahi...tere aane ke baad fir se party karenge...vaise tu aayega kab?

"parminder5 parminder6 ko bhi puchi kyun
nahi de sakti aakhir uska bday hai....uska bhi haq
banta hai..Akhir uska bhi dil hai...akhir wo bhi insaan hai.... "
-- per baat ye hai parminder2
ke ye puchiyan parminder1 ki taraf se hain...
vaise bhi kal angles ki kafi discrepancy ho chuki hai...chahe to parminder5 bhi parminder6 ko puchi de sakta hai...:-P

parminder4: chhee chhee cheee!!!

ye mere charitra pe kichad uchaala ja raha hai, mujh pe jhoothey laanchan
lagaye ja rahe hain :( main s****l utpidan ke arop main aap logon pe case karoonga,
main apni izzat pe lagey is dhabbey ko dho ke hi dam loonga!!

aur iske alaawa, mere paas kal ki sabhi baaton ki recordings bhi hain,
ab main tum logon ki unnatural .... ki pole bhi kholunga :|

parminder3: haan parminder4 ....aaj kal kafi acche products aa gaye hain market mei daag dhabbey dhone ke liye...
depending on ke izaat kya hai?
kapda hai to :surf excel,vanish o2
bartan hai to : wheel,vim etc...
exhaust fan hai to: bang stain cutter....
aur agar humei kuchh nahi mila to hum kahenge...
"Dag achhe hain na!! ??" :-P


btw poles ko kholte kaise hain..poles ko ya to khada karte hain ya girate hain...:D :D

parminder4: philosophical mode:

izzat koi kapda nahin hai, magar kapde utarne se izzat utar jaati hai,
na izzat koi bartan hai, jissey koi bhi aakey jhootha kar jaye,
lekin saaf izzat aur saaf bartan, dono ki chamak alag dikhti hai!
(exhaust fan ki koi philosophy nahin hoti kya??)


and regarding poles, pole dance bhi kar saktey hain, waise toh!!
but people are normally poles apart, so unki poles khul jaati hain :D :D :P

parminder3: Exhaust fan ki izzat...i mean philosphy:

izzat koi exhaust fan nahi hai jo hawa saaf rakhe
lekin saaf izzat ki khushboo door door tak aati hai ;-))
(izzat is deodorant....???? :O)

Poles ki pole:

achha tabhi north aur south poles are poles apart...!!
pole kholne ke liye pole dance karna padta hai kya?

parminder4: hain, ab ye khushboo ki philosophy bhi banti hai kya?? :O

izzat koi khushboo to nahin jo sabke naak main ja ke basti rahe,
lekin izzat rehti hai to naak unchi rehti hai :)

aur haan, pole dance kar to sakte ho, lekin fir se izzat ko khatra hai,
kyunki pole dance izzatdar logon ko shobha nahin deta!!

parminder3: naak ki bhi philosphy hogi...

izzat sirf naak unchi hone se nahi hoti lekin izzat na ho to naak mei dum ho jata hai!

kya har izzatdaar insaan ko shobha leni padti hai?
pole dance shobha nahi deta to kaun deta hai?

.. hai koi jawab ?? ;)
courtesy : parminder & parminderSSSS

bakwaas band mat kar

1: oye! kya halchaal?
2: oye oye!! main mast! tu das?
1: main das nahi ek hi hun. aur main bhi mast
1: oh shit! ab hum dono ko identiy crisis ho jaayega
2: hehheehe nahi, main mast, tu bhi mast
1: haan wohi toh, tu bhi mast aur main bhi
2: off nahi main sirf mast aur tu bhi mast
1: achcha to tera naam sirf mast aur mera mast ?
2: offo nahi. mera naam mast aur tera naam bhi mast
1: phir wohi confusion
2: arey baba mera naam double quotes mein mast aur tera naam double quotes mein bhi mast
1: abey double quotes ho ya no quotes, mera naam double quote mein bhi mast aur bina quotes ke bhi,
1: baat toh phir wohi ho gayi na??????????
2: offfoooo achcha chal chhodd kya kar rahi hai
1: mummy ne kheer poori banayi hai wohi kha rahi hun thuns thuns ke
2: pig ke jaise thuns rahi hai kya
1: mujhe nahi pata pig kaise thunsta hai, tujhe pata hai ?
2: haan
1: achcha tune unse hi seekha hai
2: nahi maine tujhe dekha hai, toh ek hi baat hai
1: hehehhe very funny. tu kya kar ra hai?
2: sunday hai ghar pe hun office ka kaam kar raha hun :P
1: kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?????????/ yeh likhne se pehle tune apna phone utha ke phenk kyun nahi diya
1: aisi bhi kya majboori thi jo tune mujhe yeh din dikha diya
1: sunday ko ghar se office ka kaam!!
2: arey yeh zaalim duniya aur bedard zamanaa
1: dono mein kya fark hai ?
2: chup kar dialogue khatam karne de
1: pehle bata na
2: kuch nahi in dono ko bhi identity crisis hai , hum dono ki tarag
1: ohhh achcha dialouge poora kar
2: arey yeh zaalim duniya aur bedard zamanaa aur paapi pet ka sawaal
1: kya sawaal hai paapi pet ka?
2: offfoooo!! arey meri maa
1: main bataaun main bataaun
2: achcha bol
1: paapi pet ka sawaal hai ki tu munh khol ke sota hai ya band karke?
2: hain? :OOOOOOOO munh banmd karke. but yeh kahan se aaya ?
1: tujhe kaise pataa? tune kab dekha apne ap ko sotey huey ?
2: arey munh khol se sota toh koi na koi toh bataa hi deta na!
1: kyun ? kis kis ne..
2: chup kar nalayak! yeh bataa ye sawaal aaya kahan se?
1: arey tere paapi pet ka sawaal tha. us mein khule munh hawaa jaa rahi hogi na, isiliye ..
2: hehehehehehhahahahhhaaa....abey aaj tu poorey mood mein hai! lagi reh , bakwaas band mat kar :)

kahaan so-un ?? :(

graham bell ke chele
cheli: (yaaawwwwnnnn)
chela: abey so jaa na, so kyun nahi jaati
cheli: yaar bed pe bahut kapde bikhre pade hain
chela: toh uthha ke almaari mein daal de
cheli: chhodd na..kitne achche se so rahe hain, main kyun neend kharaab karun
chela: pfff..achcha toh tu almaari mein so jaa jake
cheli: abey yaaaaarrrr, (yaaawwwnnn) , almaari mein toh cockroach (yaaawwwnnn) soye hain na
chela: :OOO cockroach almaari mein hain toh fridge mein kya hai?
cheli: abey fridge mein toh parson ka khana rakha hai na
chela: pff..toh tu attic mein so jaa
cheli: wo (yaaawwwnnn) chuhon ki (yaaawwwnnn) designated jagah hai,wahan (yaaawwwnnn) wohi sotey hain (yaaawwwnnn)
chela: hey bhaggu!! yawning band kar.tu is waqt hai kahan ?
cheli: (yaaawwwnnn) terrace pe (yaaawwwnnn) khadi (snore) (snore) (snore)....
chela: hello..hello...(beep) (beep) (beep).....

2 leg ends

Below...is one of the chat session between 2 leg ends of this group...

1-end-of-leg: hi
1-end-of-leg: 2-2-end-of-leg
2-end-of-leg: hey 1-end-of-leg
1-end-of-leg: kahan hai
1-end-of-leg: ?
1-end-of-leg: jinda hai?
1-end-of-leg: mar gaya?
1-end-of-leg: kcuh to bole?
2-end-of-leg: arrey, zinda hoon mian
1-end-of-leg: abey shayari kar raha hai ki gaana gaa raha hai ?to kahan hia?
2-end-of-leg: confused hun actually
2-end-of-leg: aaj kaafi dino baad office aaya, isiliye kuch bol nahin paa raha thheek se
1-end-of-leg: kyun?
1-end-of-leg: mushaayere pe jootey khaaye thhey ya bus mein ladki se?
2-end-of-leg: arrey nahin, meri cuz ki wedding thi
2-end-of-leg: wahan tha main
1-end-of-leg: ohhh toh wahan jootey chhupane ke liye kha gaya tha kya

2-end-of-leg is using an older version of Yahoo! Messenger and certain features may be unavailable. Click here to invite 2-end-of-leg to upgrade.

2-end-of-leg: arey tu jooton se obssessed ho gaya hai kya???!!!
1-end-of-leg: heheheh abhi abhi naye jootey liye hain na :P
1-end-of-leg: bataa kya hua ?
2-end-of-leg: arey sat se wahan tha
2-end-of-leg: ussey pehle off main lagi padi thi
1-end-of-leg: kyun kya ho gaya office mein?
2-end-of-leg: office main kuch nahin, yun hi, kaam bad gaya tha, to main ussi ko dodge karne ki koshish main fas gaya tha
1-end-of-leg: ohh...tu bachna chahta hai matlab punishment se
1-end-of-leg: main sabko bata dunga ki tune kaam kiya hai
2-end-of-leg: nahin, sirf dodge sach much
1-end-of-leg: nahi nahi..
1-end-of-leg: maine to yahi bolung.a..
1-end-of-leg: kuch rishwat offer kar...
1-end-of-leg: varna bata dunaga
2-end-of-leg: ummm, kaisi rishwat?
1-end-of-leg: mooh band rakhne ki
1-end-of-leg: varna tpb par teri maar li jaayegi...
1-end-of-leg: aur punishment milegi
2-end-of-leg: accha bata, kya rishwat doon?
1-end-of-leg: rishwat/?
1-end-of-leg: tu boleta rah...main bata dunaga ki kiss cheez kar maanunga
2-end-of-leg: ummm, chal tere liye koi acchi si ladki dhoondh ke rakhte hain yahan pe? aur aatey hi teri shaadi ka bandobast karatey hain
1-end-of-leg: shaadi??
1-end-of-leg: pagal hia kya?
1-end-of-leg: uske saath ek one night stand...
1-end-of-leg: fix karva diya
2-end-of-leg: uffo, tujhey main p*** dikh raha hoon kya
1-end-of-leg: baat to tu aisi hi kar raha hai
1-end-of-leg: khair...teri lagne waali hai...agar meri demands poori nahi ki to...
1-end-of-leg: ab soch le thodi der ke liye pimp banna hai ya tpb ki saza
2-end-of-leg: i guess tpb ki sazaa
1-end-of-leg: nahi...
1-end-of-leg: tujhe rishwaat deni hi padegi
1-end-of-leg: maandwaali karte hian
2-end-of-leg: hehehe
2-end-of-leg: accha chal, ab tu bata kya chahiye?
1-end-of-leg: pata nahi samajh nahi aa raha
1-end-of-leg: :"(
1-end-of-leg: suggest kar
1-end-of-leg: ?
2-end-of-leg: ummm, accha chal, agley 1 week tak tpb pe teri nahin bajaunga, aur jo teri bajaega uski bajaaney main teri help karoonga
1-end-of-leg: abe tu aaj tak meri kabhi baja paaya hai
1-end-of-leg: hurrrrrrrrrrr
1-end-of-leg: hushhhhhh
2-end-of-leg: chal fir ab bajaunga
1-end-of-leg: motu saale...sui chubha kar hawa nikaal duinga..
1-end-of-leg: balloon ki tarah udta phirega
2-end-of-leg: chal tu try kar US se sui chubhaana pehle
1-end-of-leg: main apni shipuu ko bol dunga
2-end-of-leg: aur haan, dhyaan rakhiyo kahin hawaa ke pressure se tu bhi udney lagey
1-end-of-leg: abe ja
1-end-of-leg: shipu hi udegi
1-end-of-leg: aur kya pata shipra ud kar yahan aa jaaye
2-end-of-leg: chal fir try kartey hain
1-end-of-leg: okay..
1-end-of-leg: maiye ye tpb par bhejta hoon...
1-end-of-leg: poora...
2-end-of-leg: waise if u wanna ensure ki wo wahan tak pahunch jaye, to ussey adnan sami ko pin chubhani chahiye
1-end-of-leg: haan yaar..ye to hai kahin kenya mein na gir jaaye
2-end-of-leg: hehehe, haan fir ussey dhoondhna bhi mushkil ho jayega
1-end-of-legg: :)
2-end-of-leg: aur kahin woh jhingalala hoom karti fir pahunch bhi gayu US, to tujhey paka ke kha jayegi :P
1-end-of-leg: kaash
1-end-of-leg: :D
2-end-of-leg: kya kaash, ki woh tujhey paka ke khjaye :O
1-end-of-leg: :D
1-end-of-leg: dekhte hain..

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

arz kiya hai...

Log kahate hai ki pyar itna bhi mat karo ki
girlfriend sar par sawar ho jaye,
Hum kehte hai ki pyar itna karo ki,
girlfriend ki frnd bhi apke sath faraar ho jaye

....

wah wah!!

magar dhyaan ye rakhna dost,
kahin aisa na ho ki in dono main pehle taqraar ho jaaye,
fir dono main kuch karaar ho jaaye,
aur tere qatl ka samaan tayyar ho jaye!! :O

...
:D :D...cool!!

punjabi mei 2 lines arz hain...

kach da ki pehnna jehda thes lage tut jaye
aashiq da ki manna jehda jhal ke jutti mar jaye!!...


mera original nahi hai.....:P....samajh aa gya na?


....

han aa gaya :) :D wah!! wah!!
arz kiya hai...


aashiq wohi jo maashooq ke haathon qatl ho jaaye
uski friend ke haathon marne waale ko toh
pati kehte hain ;)

to be continued...

Sunday, September 2, 2007

the book of TPB laws

...just a trailor ... ;)


@guilty: sorry tere calls kal miss ho gaye :((( i'll call soon, if possible tonight , if i get home on time.

@angry: dont worry....usne mere calls miss kiye the...to hissab barabar ho gaya :P

@peacemaker: duniya mei koi jitni calls miss karta hai utni hi uski calls koi aur miss karta hai...law of equilibrium

of missed calls..or missing calls??? :O

@guruji: na angry, vyarth ansu na baha, in calls aur missed calls ke fer main apne jivan ko khoney na de! ye calls,

aur missed calls to sirf ek maya hai, dhokha hai!! kaun kiski calls miss karta hai, kaun kiski mr, is mayajaal main

fans ke tu vichlit na ho! calls kiye ja, missed ki chinta na kar!! yehi tera kartavya hai, yehi tera dharam!!


according to tpb law of generalization...with generous inputs from equally qualified but not yet official bakwaasis

(for we are too arrogant to add ppl :P )

1) Law of equilibrium of missed calls

the no. of times i missed your calls === to the no. of times u missed calls from others
The increase in the total no. of missed calls in this world always remains constant

2) Law of constant weights

the reason I have gained weight === you have lost it.
The total amount of body weight in the universe is always constant

3) Law of inevitable shopping

you were too busy working === i had to go shopping
the total quantity of shopping done in a day remains constant throughout the world

Corollary1 : Maintaining Cash Liquidity for sustaining the economy

i am not spendthrift === you just make too much money

--- waiting to steal more stuff from other world's bakwaasis ;) ...